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December 12th, 2005

09:47 am Your 2005 Song Is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care. What Hit Song of 2005 Are You? Current Mood: depressed

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October 5th, 2005

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September 13th, 2005

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September 8th, 2005

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September 1st, 2005

12:23 am - OMG*squeekpuffupgigglegetexcitedgiggleagain* im asking amisty to marry me this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: excited

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August 29th, 2005

12:48 pm - there and back again.... I went, to where my girl moved, i spent the weekend there..i left early saturday morning (4 am actualy, lol) and drove the 3-1/2 to 4 hour drive up there. I spent a couple of hours with my girl before i zonked out on her bed. I didnt even notice, lol.i was worn out. We did my laundry, and went to the skate park, where i took my inline skates...and bruised myself up nice. I had fun though. Then, sunday, we went to the beach, where it was drizzly and cool, just like i remember. Oregon coast is almost always like that. over cast, drizzly, cold...i was happpy to be at the beach...and happy to be there with the woman i love. We found TONS of sand dollars, 2 whole big ones, a lot of busted one, and a crap load of quarter size sand dollars, ....sand quarters? LMAO...sleep deprivation...lol, we went back to the skatepark, where, instead of falling WHILE SKATING...i fell on my butt twice while standing, lol...OOOOHHHH lmao....ouch....then i woke up this morning...at 6..to leave my love....im moving there...hopefully a co uple of months...*sigh* i hope...i miss her already. i love amisty...its real love...and her family loves me,, i love her family...I LOVE HER SO MUCH...i never have cried before, when leaving a girlfriend (or boyfriend from my FAR past, lol) and knowing that im not going to see them for a while....i balled my eyes out almost the whole drive...Im saving up to buy her a ring. a fancy spensive engagement ring...im gonna ask her mom if i have her blessing to ask her daughter to marry me...its going to be a while....i wantt to make sure that we work out for a while, i want to be moved there...i need to save the money...its going to take time......SHE CALLED ME HER PRINCE!!! i have wanted nothing more in life than to be someones prince...granted i am female...but i believe in THIS quote whole heartedly "man or woman, no matter what, one of strenght and nobility is ALWAYS a prince"...she called me her prince...*giggles like a girl* EHEM...lol...thought i would share that little bit... Current Mood: sore

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August 23rd, 2005

03:49 am - hum de dum hooha...um yeah..its early int he mornen, and i havent slept yet, im going soon. im tired and my eyes are tired...but i wanted to post this and see what you all say....i dont think i eat a whole lot, but i dont think that im "nearly starving" myself....today i ate: half a small microwave burrito about 6 bites of beef stroganoff 2 ears of corn.... yesterday i ate: one package of ramen noodles saturday i ate: one package of ramen 10 chicken nuggets.... on average i eat less than 2 cups of food a day...and i drink lots of water...do you think im starving myself? should i eat more???opinions people. I NEED TO KNOW Current Mood: cold

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August 1st, 2005

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July 9th, 2005

02:54 pm - so much FUN WELL, yeah, this is a little late, but my party was fun and so was my bday, WOOT WOOT. LETS SEE...SATURDAY, JUNE 25TH- ALINA and i fought, she slapped me across the face, and of course, i didnt hit her back, she was a total bitch to me and all, but no big deal, the party ended up great and i had fun with amisty (hee hee) who at the time was not my girlfriend, alina and i had broken up...okay...sunday, june 26th my bday, i get a phone call from my sister who was BALLING her eyes out because alina was moving her shit out. So yes, alina is gone, for good, after almost a year long relationship, its all over, and she is out of my life. THANK GOD!!!!!!! that was the best birthday present ever. Now, BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, WONDERFUL, TALENTED, AWESOME....PERFECT Amisty, is my girlfriend ^.^ my is happy all the time now, never sad, my his always happy and smiley and i likes me it. WOOT WOOT, OH...WAIT..NAKED HOOT. Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: Evenascence

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June 21st, 2005

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May 31st, 2005

12:48 am - warm and fuzzy while swimming at the "cold springs" aka the gravel pits, my girlfriend and i watched a man and young child riding their 4 wheeler. I believe that the man was busy watching us, because he rode straight into the water and flipped the 4 wheeler...well for those of you who know me, i have water issues unless its a swimming pool but i jumped in the water and swam across to help..(anyway)...the child was scared, but i would imagine so, he had a helmet on and clearly didnt know how to swim. so his father ( i know it was his father because he was saying"whats mom gonna say?!!!" oh man moms gonna be mad") gets ahold of him (smart man) and gets him to the shore, with a bit of trouble getting the child to let go. and by that time alina and i had managed our ways across, and , with the help of alina's father as well, we managed to get the 4 wheeler out of the water. It felt good... on another note, we helped a friends family out as well...a little... we are still in the process of moving, and while cleaning out our cupboards we boxed up a bunch of food that we knew we wouldnt consume, and gave it to them...Our friend seemed greatful..and yes..i believe helping out...twice in one weekend...melted some of the ice off of my cold dead heart ^.^ Current Mood: content

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May 16th, 2005

12:19 pm - naked HOOT we got the duplex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: crazy

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May 15th, 2005

03:04 pm Well, I applied for an apartment, well, a duplex, for my sister, my girlfriend and i to move into, and we will find out either tomorrow (monday ) or tuesday whether or not we get it...im nervous, excited, and really hoping that we get it...i used to live in the place we are trying to get. well, there is one on the right and one on the left(duh duplex) when i was born we lived in the one on the right, well someone lives there now, but the LEFT one is open, an old lady lived there when we were little. if we get it, obviously we will get the left one...we are all excited and hoping for this *shakes nervously*i hope we get a GOOD phone call and not a bad one, i'll update about it when we find out.^.^ on another note, Alina and i are doing great, treating eachother better and i couldnt be happier. I love her with all my heart...guess what else.. We are talking about starting a family. we want to have a baby !!!!!!She is going to start charting her ovulation and do it for at least a year so that we know...and we will see in a year or so.isnt it exciting???!!!! Current Mood: excited Current Music: smile empty soul-sillhouettes

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May 10th, 2005

12:17 pm - may the force be with you ^.^ okay, this totaly makes me sound like a nerd...BUT OMG STAR WARS IS COMING OUT IN NINE DAYS...THE FINAL STARWARS IS ALMOST HERE AND IM SO EXCITED... i mean, any real starwars fan can predict BASICLY what happens, but still, there are other excitements to it ^.^ i ahve been a star wars fan since i was 6 and watched the original first starwars (number 4 for those of you who dont know what im talking about ) with my father. he has been a starwars fan for a long time, and i got into it and i love it. Darth Vader was always my favorite character, and my dad can do yoda's coice REALLY WELL...im such a kid, i want to go to wal-mart and get one of those voice changing darth vader helmets ^.^ they are 25 frigging dollars ^.^ my little 3 year old brother likes star wars too, and HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER IS DARTH VADER!!!!!!!! maybe i will buy him one, or me one...or BOTH OF US ONE..lol, can you say EXCITEDNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i might take my brother with me, lol. I bet he would love that. It has finaly hit me...this year i will turn twenty, june 26th to be precise...no longer will i ever be ANY kind of a teen anymore...thats good...but das also bewy bad...LOL. I grew up too early, and now wish i had spent more of my time as a kid, being a kid. I do enjoy the benefits of being an adult and living on my own though. oooh excitedness!!! Current Mood: dorky

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May 7th, 2005

07:23 pm - things cant go that way.. you know what, love isnt over, life isnt over, nothing is over because im in a commited relationship with my fiancee alina. Yes i do love her and yes i want to spend the rest of my life with her.OF COURSE she enjoys pushing my buttons, but thats just how she is. We fight a lot, not physicaly, but verbaly. Its not so horrible..it just hurts me that i treat her the way i do sometimes...it hurts me the way she treats me sometimes...she pisses me off a lot, she feels the need to push my buttons SO OFTEN...but i do love her. She sais to "prove my love" i need to not talk to my best friend anjanette for two weeks, but i understand. So for two weeks i wont. I love alina and i want her to know that, but no matter how much i tell her that she doesnt believe me...And i cant say anything without making her cry, she is so sensitive. It isnt by any means a bad thing...its just like GEEZE sometimes...but she really is sweet, and i really do love only her...but she will never believe me. and why do i need to PROVE MY LOVE.. Current Mood: grumpy

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April 24th, 2005

10:11 pm - if im alone in this, i dont think i can face.....the consequences of falling... Things are getting better...i came to the realization that just because she is younger than i am, doesnt mean i have to boss her around, or be a bitch to her, or treat her like a child...its hard though, not to be rude to her, sometimes she is clumsy, sometimes she has her unintelligent moments, sometimes she annoys the hell out of me...but i love her...Yes, there are some things i wish i could take back, she could take back..and there are some things that i wish had happened..but they wont and i realize that now and i have moved on...anyway..my days have been a tiny bit happier...have a nice evening...if you want to. Snow White Current Mood: drained Current Music: KD Lang~consiquences of falling

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April 10th, 2005

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March 3rd, 2005

04:16 pm - ive figured it out While lying in bed this morning before getting up to get ready for work i started thinking about what i have done with my life, when i was little, i was a performer, Tap and Ballet, when i was a little older, a performer/competitor, martial arts, and in highschool, i was performer, in theatre but now, i work with nothing for me to do in performing...i think that is why im so depressed all the time, that is why i feel so empty. I have been a performer all my life and now i dont have that. If i could be in Martial arts again, or theatre even i would be so much happier...but thanks to the absolutely WONDERFUL hours(note the sarcasm) i cant do either...just thought i would share my little findings. Im off to work, Shalysa Current Mood: determined Current Music: Fluid~emotion

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February 21st, 2005

01:58 am - i dont love you...and i dont think i ever will >. emotion waste not your self-injection because there is still some left cancel my own subscription to this emotion mess faith is gone and no one is listening so take these emotions and take these endearments i will go and kill this pain i’ll swallow down these tears on my cheeks i don’t love you i detest you i don’t trust you and i don’t think i ever will i’ll be your heroin my heroine and so when you drown in this emotionless sea i’ll wave my hand and laugh as you scream i don’t love you i detest you i don’t trust you and i don’t think i ever will walk on the sea of tears that i have cried i have wasted my emotions because you lied and so when you drown in this emotionless sea i’ll wave my hand and laugh as you scream i’ll scream i don’t love you i detest you i don’t love you and i don’t think i ever will. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Fluid~Emotion

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January 21st, 2005

11:21 pm - i'll never leave you... Well, now that i have internet i seem to be getting up earlier than normal and spending every possible moment that i can, using my computer. I know i will tire of using it so much and i will be less active online, but that may be a while. um...i really dont have much to write actualy...blah blah blah blah...blah blah blah. anyway...yeah....blah blah blah, and blah oh but you know what, blah. OOH i started making full level 4 pay a few days ago so i went from $10.85 an hour to $12.95 WOOT WOOT!!! OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT... the books i ordered that have one of my poems published in it FINALY ARRIVED SO yeah..anjanette you will get your copy soon. anyway IM OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD. actualy im off to eat spaghetti. Current Mood: annoyed

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